Everything is going awesome. He likes you, you like him. You talk about him like he’s the best thing to ever come into your life, next to a steaming aluminum tray full of freshly fried carnitas. Yum.
Then after a few months, you start mentioning him to the family. They want to know why you’re not home during the evenings and why you won’t come to the house on weekends. “Que clase de trabajo tienes? Por que es que siempre estas ocupada?” Why you so busy? What kind of job do you have that makes you work so much? It’s not work. Definitely not work. They begin to become familiar with his name. They get the point that he’s becoming relatively important to you.
Then the question comes from your amiga, chismosa number 3. “So, has he met your parents yet?” Your eyes widen. Your palms start to sweat. “No.” You say.
It’s a big deal to introduce the guy you’re seeing, dating, dare we say BOYFRIEND, to your family. Cousins, brothers, sisters, that’s cool. You’re on the same level, kind of. You get it. Some of these cats may just come and go and there are those friends who understand that. Especially when you bring three different guys around in the span of a month. “Nah, we just decided to be friends,” you say. And those on your level, don’t judge. They just wait.
But of all the other guys, this one is different. Why? Only you know. And sometimes it’s just a “thing.” The thought enters your mind multiple times, “Should I introduce him to my family?” Then you think about talking to him about it, but then NO! You can’t! Because then it’ll scare him away and he’ll think you’re moving too fast and then he’s going to think you want to get married when all you really want to do is prove to your family that you have the potential to live happily ever after and you won’t be a barren cat lady.
It’s too soon.
He hangs out with you and your friends. They know of him, they kind of know him and they start to form opinions. Que bien. Even then it sometimes feels like too much. Don’t be the girl who forces! Don’t be the girl who pressures because you hate those girls. You can’t stand the girls that guilt trip their men into doing things. No, you don’t want to force because it should always be his choice.
So when you mention meeting the family, you feel the lump in your throat. By bringing it up, your making it real. The whole thing. The idea that you might have something more than a “thing” gives you anxiety. See, because as soon as they meet family, they’re locked in. It’s something that you both have to be ready for.
- They’ll start asking about him… and why he’s not with you at every family function.
- They’ll want to know his life story and all about his family. They’ll expect you to know this information.
- They start planning your wedding and if not that, they start saying things like, “Imagine if you had a little girl! She would be so cute!”
- Your grandmother will start thinking about having another great-grandchild.
- Your parents will start thinking about, yet dreading, the idea of having grandchildren.
- He’ll be expected to show up with you at every event and if he’s not there, you’ve done something to upset him.
- Plus, they may start liking him more than they like you. God forbid if you should break up.
So, taking this into consideration, do you take the plunge? Do you make it as real as it’s going to get? For you, you become vested just a bit more because your family has become involved. You already were, but now there’s even more of a reason to make it work. Explanations as to why it didn’t are harder than you would ever want them to be.
Nevertheless, you can bring him around, have fun with it and if it works, it works. No pressure. No pressure at all.