… When I watch Telenovelas.
1. What’s with the dramatic music? And who composes this stuff? They can say a sentence and it has a soundtrack. It’s non-stop.
2. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real life situation like this. Where do the plots come from? I can just see men sitting around a large wooden table putting together the most horrific stories about their parents, ex-wives, daughters and all their enemies combined for one nine-month long novela.
3. How is it that these women are always physically perfect? They have perfect hair with no frizz, they have perfect make up even when they’re in the hospital, their teeth are white and they’re unblemished! No wonder people have a distorted perception of Latinas!
4. Why is it when these women fall in love, they go all psycho crazy? They kill, stalk and hate. Don’t they know it’s unattractive?
5. Why is everything that’s said the end of the world? That doom music plays when they say things like, “Vamos a tratar de arreglar este matrimonio aunque tu no me amas!” (“We’re going to try to fix this marriage even though you don’t love me!”) Ummm… You know you can say no, right?
6. Why don’t women ever stand up for themselves? They just stand there like idiots taking everything in even if they know something. Never can win.
7. Have these cats no problem-solving skills? Fools!
8. Why are the bad boys all so good-looking, rugged and have that old-fashioned leather jacket boot thing going on? Enough said.
9. Why does my family get worked up over situations that are on this drawn out series? Thank God they end after a few weeks.
10. And finally… Why am I watching this?!